Braids

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For the past two and half years, I have been transforming from a homemaker to a tech in aviation. It has involved moves (at least 5) schooling, new friends, communities and tons of change. It is difficult, but I remind myself there is no growth without it.

I had been a stay-at-home mother, raising 4 children while my husband spent the past few years traveling the world as a consultant. It was like being a single parent, honestly. One of the rituals that I performed for close to 10 years was the daily braiding of my daughter’s hair before school. This was on top of getting breakfast, lunch and dinner, laundry and chauffeuring. It was one of the little duties I enjoyed.

Now that I am inspecting aircraft engines, I think about how I use my hands and their importance throughout so much of my life. I still miss that simple, but satisfying act.

In all of this change, my Higher Power has only become greater in my life. I have had to depend on my faith, because I often had nothing else. This is a great thing and one I am still attempting to document.

“No expectations means no disappointments,” I was reminded by a friend, when I spoke of my children’s upcoming visit.

Three of my kids (and my daughter-in-love) were coming to my new dwelling. I had not seen them since my son’s wedding and the married couple had never been to my place. While I was in tech school, I did not hear from them or see them, except one son who spent some of his holidays with me.

I was excited. I was anxious. I was even a bit nervous. We have all changed since the divorce and we are all feeling out what exactly that means in each of our lives.

How do I weave these relationships into a new life? A life I had never imagined. I don’t know.

They showed up and we got ready for the agreed upon hike.

One asked, “Do you have any extra gloves?” Of course, I do.

“How about some socks? I only wore these shorties,” Yes, what mom would deny their child socks?

I realized that I would always be that someone they could depend upon to ask for what they needed. And I would always try to come through. It was like falling into an old and worn groove. I provided.

What almost dropped me to my knees, was when my daughter asked, “Would you feel like braiding my hair?”

I nearly cried.

Only later did I realize that no expectations not only means no disappointments. It also means our God can surprise, way beyond our expectations.

By Catstrav

Reindeer handler. NDT tech. Mother of four. Aspiring astronaut.