It was a Sunday morning and like every morning, I get up and spend some time meditating.
I don’t know what to call the Source of All Love, but I know that that Source can handle all that I have to offer. This certain Sunday I was sad and lonely and I let Source know.
“No one knows me here! What am I doing in this place?!” My prayer was more rant than anything. If there is a God, then He/She should be big enough to handle my honesty. I never thought I would be in the middle of Nowhere. And it felt desolate. I missed my people. I missed all things familiar. Minnesota was not home.
So I took my Sorry Self to church, because back in CT, I have a good friend, G., who would say to me, “You don’t want to miss the blessing! If you don’t go, you will miss the blessing!” She embodies love and sometimes church adjusts my head. Sometimes.
I sat in the back row at the church I had been visiting. I enjoyed the praise music and the preaching at this church, but only knew one other woman in the congregation.
At one point in the sermon, the pastor paused and pointed to the verse on the screen. It was Phillipians 2:14 “Do all things without grumbling and complaining…”
He asked, “How would you take this verse and turn it into a prayer?”
An awkward silence followed, which was very strange because normally two or three people would offer an answer whenever he asked the congregation for input.
“I know I may be coming at you kind of cold, but if you took this passage and turned it into a prayer for yourself, what would that look like?”
Still no one said anything. I felt badly for him. Usually, someone was awake and responsive. Not today.
So I offered, “Change my attitude,” from the back of the sanctuary.
“Thanks, Cat,” he said, and I thought he looked at me.
My eyes bugged out of my head. Did he really know my name? I was surprised and a bit shaken.
After church, I ran into the one other person I knew in the congregation and I had to ask, “Did he call me by name?”
“Yeah, I heard it.”
“How does he know my name?” I still didn’t believe it.
“He’s good like that,” she chuckled. I guess so.
Not only was I proven wrong by having someone call me by name, publicly, I realized that the very prayer I offered, “Change my attitude,” was the one I most needed to pray for myself.